God has been teaching me through trials lately. Now trials hurt. What is the first thing we do when we accidentally touch a hot stove? Ouch! We quickly draw our hand back.
And that is our first response when we suffer trials: we draw back from the Lord. We draw our hearts back from His heart. “You could have prevented this, Lord!” And we doubt His great good heart because He did not.
The Lord reminded me of my cat when pondering these things.
You see, when I was a child we had a cat growing up. The time came to take her to the vet to be spayed. When she came home again, the first thing she did when she got outside was run away. She was gone for three days, she was so mad that we took her to that horrible place and made her go through that pain.
We also had a cat when my children were little. (We still have cats. I love kitties.) Her name was Pepper, she was a beautiful short-haired torty we had rescued as a stray. I dreaded the thought of taking her to the vet, because I was sure she would run away in anguish afterward. This is why she had two litters of kittens before she was spayed, LOL. I couldn’t bring myself to make the appointment, knowing how my cat had reacted when I was a child.
But the day finally came. I fretted for a week beforehand, thinking, “If only there was a way to let her know that I still love her, that she will have to be alone in a strange place (with dogs, no less) and in pain because I love her enough to have her spayed!” But other than cuddling her a lot the week before, there was no way to let her know what was coming, because she of course did not understand English.
My husband took her when the day came, because I was so distraught. I didn’t sleep that night. The next morning the children and I went to pick her up. When the nurse brought our cat out from the back, and Pepper saw me, she stretched out her little kitty arms for me to take her. The vet said she had never seen anything like it before. Her simple trust in me broke my heart. She sat on my lap for three days afterward and didn’t leave my side. For three days, the same amount of time my cat in childhood was gone from home in anger.
Conversation with the Lord:
Him: Do you remember when Pepper was spayed?
Me: I was so worried that she would run away!
Him: It blessed your heart when Pepper trusted you, even though there was no way you could make her understand the details of what was happening to her.
Me: I cried that night, I was so happy that she trusted me, remember?
Him: I can’t always explain what is happening to you, either, My daughter, when you suffer trials.
Him: When you continue to trust in Me, in My love for you, it blesses My heart also. 🙂 Will You trust Me, even though I cannot answer your question of Why right now?
why does God test man, part two
we are the clay
when we suffer: a warning
help when we hurt
flip the switch
the poetry of drawing near
hearts wounded by suffering
what my thimble taught me
pride: the hidden problem with hardness
portrait of a yielded heart
the poetry of a yielded heart
comfort when we suffer
taking comfort: psalm 42
the poetry of taking comfort
comfort, comfort, o my people
comfort as a mother comforts
a rabbit trail
the joy of intimacy
the poetry of intimacy
God’s comforting presence
why don’t I feel God?
christians and suffering
back from the abyss